Did you ever think you truly knew the person with whom you entered into a romantic arrangement, only to be shocked by some small flash of less than desirable behavior? In an instant something clicks in your mind and you realize the set-up may not quite be what you thought it was and is not where you need to focus your attention. Little sparks of intolerable quirks may grow into something huge and before you know it you're attached to a maniac.
The moment you come to the realization that some actions by your partner are less than desirable make a mental note and take heed if they continue. HEED MEANING TAKE IT SERIOUSLY! The next step is to bring the issue to their attention. Too many times we just quit on people and forget that imperfections lie in each one of us. However, if they're in total denial of any character flaws and refuse to listen, then you got a big problem on your hands. A person will never take steps to repair what they don't see as broken. And finally, the dread of letting them go for the sake of your own mental health. Yes, yes sometimes you have to say goodbye in order to maintain self respect. And yes this may take you out of the romantic arrangement, however being alone for a while doesn't mean you'll be lonely. It's more like you choosing yourself and understanding the full value of your time and attention. One day someone will pay you your worth with complete love.
All I'm saying this morning is be true to yourself and everything else will fall in line, I promise!
Thanks for reading.
Monday, October 19, 2015
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...
LADIES!! There's nothing wrong with a touch of ghetto shit every now and then, but if he's got more than two or three checks on this list you might be in denial of your desire for the hood lovin'...I'm just sayin'.
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...He has a 60" flat screen television that sits on top of an end table.
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...He parks across two spaces to run into the package store.
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...He greets his friends with strange sounds and a secret handshake.
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...He gets out the car, looks back and asks you if you're coming.
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...He's never been out of the state where he lives.
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...He only has liquor and a carton of eggs in his refrigerator.
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...He doesn't own any shoes without laces.
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...He has little baggies filled with things called Kush, Skunk, el Niño, and Sweet Dreams.
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...You can hear him on your street before he reaches your house.
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...He calls his mother by her first name.
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...He has a sister with an accent or hyphen in her name.
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...He parks his car around the corner from his house.
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...He has more than two chicks names tattooed on his body.
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...He has more than three camouflage items in his closet.
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...He has different names in different circles.
HE MIGHT BE A TAD BIT GHETTO IF...He throws a washcloth on you after sex.
Get your ghetto love on! Thanks for reading.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
FIGHT FOR ME DAMMIT!
When will all you wonderful men realize that we women want you to fight for our love? I don't mean literal physical dueling like the days of old. I'm speaking in terms of an emotional commitment and a matter of fact stance on our hearts and bodies. Let's face it, we can say we're strong and super independent but every woman, well most women, want a man to step up and claim her as his own. The natural order of life deems the man the head of the household. If this is true isn't the same apparent for the context of the intimate relationship? Lots of us are tired of doing everything alone and welcome a strong hand to pitch in and say "I got it baby, go sit down". Normally I would write this and plug in some things we women should do for the man to make him want to give us our all. However, today I'm only talking about women who are already grown, doing their damn thing and don't NEED a man but WANT a man. If you missed my explanation of the difference feel free to catch up on this link http://charm4sure.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-need-vs-want.html .
Yes men! The ladies you see paying their own bills do desire your presence in their lives. It's just that we may require a little more attention or effort to gain our trust. We have been handling things alone for so long that authentic interest from a good man is welcomed yet sometimes unbelievable. Stay consistent and attentive to our needs! Communicate your feelings! This is the Fight I'm referring to! Just stay with us while we run that background and if it all checks out we'll ride with you until the wheels fall off. Make sense now?
Ahhhh yes guys we are capable of handling our business AND offering complete packages that allow you to be in control. We just want you to bring something to the table to upgrade our gold level to the platinum level. Don't you want someone to truly be a partner in life instead of a dependent? Don't you want to be able to trust that she can manage the ins and outs of the household affairs and look fabulous doing so? Unfortunately, most of you are stuck dealing with women who either can't breathe without you telling them to, or have never even worked full time and know nothing about stretching a dollar. Listen to me, this will get boring after while and you'll be looking for one of us to stimulate your senses.
All I'm saying today is open your eyes and see the capability of the woman who is a total package. It's not our fault you fell for superficial the first time around so get your mind right and focus on the present. Fight for that good woman to stay by your side because the freak train is not coming! Ladies don't give him too long to figure it out because there are men out there who want to love you, spoil you, have you be their everything, and will claim you with pride for the world to see. It will definitely be his loss.
Just my thought. Thanks for reading!
Thursday, September 10, 2015
SEXY IS SIMPLE
In my opinion the rock hard abs and thighs rippling with muscles are nice for a calendar pin up. However, within my reality I don't truly identify these buff bodies as the epitome of a sexy man. Despite all the superficial crap we're taunted with in today's world we must remember that everyone has something great to offer in a relationship in addition to their looks and body shape. The most sexy attributes of a man are the simple things. The outline of his lips as he sleeps. His one arm raised above his head as he sits back in his chair. The intense look on his face as he watches the game. His laugh. Or more simply, the glimmer in his eye he doesn't want you to notice when he first sees you after being apart.
The laws of attraction vary from one human being to another, but what's universal is the need for more than physical stimulation for a fulfilling relationship. That being said, sexy is also portrayed in a man's actions and his method of communication. If he calls to simply say hello and check on how your day is progressing, that's sexy. Him folding his laundry and ironing his clothes is sexy on a level of independence and self value. When he plans an outing for the two of you on his own to make you happy, that's super sexy.
Whether we're talking sexy in his actions or sexy in his appearance it's the little simplistic details that will have him remain appealing to you in the long run. Let's face it, the hunky man who lets the door slam in your face is far less appealing than the average guy who holds the door open for you with a smile. Ladies you'd be surprised what it is about you that men find sexy. Almost 100% of men I've conversed with about this subject never mention boobs or ass as the sexiest thing about women. Be bold and ask a few what's your sexiest attribute. I'm told by the majority that my lips happen to be mine. Could it be men aren't as superficial as we think? That's an entire chapter on its own.
What do I find most sexy about a man? My simple answer is his back. A man's back shows strength that runs from shoulder to shoulder. His back supports his outstretched arms that embrace her tightly, and carry her heavy load when she's tired. From the curve of his spine where he pushes through pain to work hard so she's content from financial worries. The space between his shoulder blades where she can rest her head when she snuggles up behind him. Yes, I'd have to say a man's back is the sexiest part of his body.
Just my opinion. Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
The Habitual Flirter
BEWARE OF THE HABITUAL FLIRTER
He's the guy who flirts with you or keeps asking for a date despite your lack of excitement when he calls you "pretty lady" "sexy gal" or "Umph Umph Umph".
You may encounter him on your daily trip to Dunkin Donuts or continually run into him at the gas station. If you're really lucky you probably work in the office with him and have little means of escape from his day to day quest to quench his thirst for your time.
I hate to tell you that unfortunately he will never stop!
All you can do is arm yourself with a few of the things listed below to keep him at an arm's length of distance away from you. I have done extensive research on these responses and for the most part they seem to work or at least keep me safe until the next bout of harassment.
LEVEL 1 RESPONSE: The polite "I'm seeing someone".
Forget this! It doesn't work. He will then turn around and offer to be your second or third string date. And believe me he's serious about this so don't even try to be nice and give him a glimmer of hope. Chop him down swift at the knees. Trust Me!
LEVEL 2 RESPONSE: Awkward Facial Expressions.
These are hit or miss depending upon the level of thirst your admirer holds. A) The squinty eye, allows you to appear as if you don't understand what he's talking about throw in a "whaaaaaat" and it might work; B) The tightly pursed lips, this look forces him to automatically take one step back; or try C) The flared nostrils, makes you look a little crazy. Your luck he'll just think you're sending him love signals. Remember he's not normal.
LEVEL 3 RESPONSE: The Quick Comeback.
Each time he says something repulsing be ready with a snappy reply to deflect his ignorance. Example he starts off with "I'm just sayin' baby girl can we...." Your reply: So how many women are you seeing now? You must go on a lot of dates! Can you really afford to date multiple women? and finally start every sentence with "Yeah the guy I'm seeing..." This level of response definitely shuts him down for a while and he'll need to take time to collect his thoughts. Hence, he walks away, which is your desired outcome.
LEVEL 4 RESPONSE: The Deep Sigh of Pity.
This is my favorite! No matter what he says and no matter how bad you want to curse him out just look at him with the most sorrowful face you can put together and sigh long and deep. This will undoubtedly make him say "Damnnnnnn did I do something?" Don't answer him! Just do it again. He will begin to feel slimy and may even apologize but don't really count on it. Just try to make him uncomfortable enough to leave you alone for the rest of the day.
Remember all these tactics are just buying you some time to slip away from the habitual flirter until the next time you see him. His mission is to seek you out and tell you things about yourself that you find neither flattering or complimentary. Just keep your head down until his stalker sense alert him that your presence is near.
Good luck and thanks for reading!
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Today's Thought...Loyalty..Huh?
TODAY'S THOUGHT....
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LOYALTY TO A MARRIED MAN. Did you hear what I said? Oh, you didn't hear me correctly. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LOYALTY TO A MARRIED MAN! Yep! Go get your Q-Tips and listen one more time.....THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LOYALTY TO A MARRIED MAN!!
When you finally grow weary of the toiling, and the snotting, and the crying, and the begging do you know what he will do? He will jump up and down on the next bitch waiting with her legs open who gives him sympathy for his poor unfulfilling, unbalanced, unavailing, unbending, yet UNENDING marriage.
LADIES!! Please be smart and don't let him use you. I feel an expounded blog for this topic coming on!!
Drops mic exits stage
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LOYALTY TO A MARRIED MAN. Did you hear what I said? Oh, you didn't hear me correctly. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LOYALTY TO A MARRIED MAN! Yep! Go get your Q-Tips and listen one more time.....THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LOYALTY TO A MARRIED MAN!!
When you finally grow weary of the toiling, and the snotting, and the crying, and the begging do you know what he will do? He will jump up and down on the next bitch waiting with her legs open who gives him sympathy for his poor unfulfilling, unbalanced, unavailing, unbending, yet UNENDING marriage.
LADIES!! Please be smart and don't let him use you. I feel an expounded blog for this topic coming on!!
Drops mic exits stage
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Today's Thought...Quality over Quantity
At what point do we stop those activities that we know we shouldn't be doing in the first place and stop interacting with those people who we know will leave us empty? The older you get the better you should be because you're maturing and realizing the consequences of your actions. There should be an automatic switch that goes off in your head that stops you from desiring Quantity over Quality. You can hop around to every happy hour, private party and tryst that falls into your lap but make sure you're participating for the right reason. I'm not saying don't get your party on and live life but when do you revise your list of priorities?
I think I just had an epiphany about Quality and not Quantity. Of course you know I'm mostly talking about men but I mean friends too. I've had numerous invites to parties, dinners, and drinks and I just reply "Oh thank you, I'm so flattered but I'm in another place right now" or "Thanks, I'll catch the next one". Now if I was 20 something maybe I'd be down for it all, but the more I spend time with those who appreciate my quality I want to be farther away from those who have no good intentions for me or themselves. At some point you've got to be good with yourself and mean it and not let outside influences determine your peace of mind.
Just my thought...
I think I just had an epiphany about Quality and not Quantity. Of course you know I'm mostly talking about men but I mean friends too. I've had numerous invites to parties, dinners, and drinks and I just reply "Oh thank you, I'm so flattered but I'm in another place right now" or "Thanks, I'll catch the next one". Now if I was 20 something maybe I'd be down for it all, but the more I spend time with those who appreciate my quality I want to be farther away from those who have no good intentions for me or themselves. At some point you've got to be good with yourself and mean it and not let outside influences determine your peace of mind.
Just my thought...
Monday, February 9, 2015
Mr 'Somebody-Elses" Incredible
There's a song I love "If you'll be my Mr. Incredible I'll be your Ms. Unforgettable always, forever and ever always". Is that bullshit? The more I reflect on my life experience with romantic relationships I begin to wonder if Mr. Incredible really exists. It seems some men know exactly what we need and provide it only for as long as it takes a woman to fall for him and then the misuse ensues. Fortunately a discerning woman can catch the performance in enough time to free herself from the trap. However, there's another type of man who lurks and watches those same smart selective women and studies them waiting for an opening to ease his charm into her life. I'm talking about the man who has all his shit together, confident, somewhat successful, passionate, and oh yes did I mention he's very much MARRIED, ENGAGED, or ATTACHED.
Yes indeed ladies! You will never find another man who will listen to you, make love to you so intensely, and pay a few bills, yet be so cunningly hateful like her man. Hateful is a strong word, yes I'm aware, but what else best describes the man who can touch your soul and leave you empty at the same time? Let's take it further and ask will Mr. Incredible ever really leave his wife or girlfriend to be with you? I'm going to give you my take on why most men who are involved with another woman in a committed relationship are so eager to make you so happy as long as you buy into their dreams. A lot of people don't want to talk about infidelity or why the "side chick" remains in her place, but I think someone should take a stab at it who has multiple perspectives, and acquaintances who have dealt with, and continue to be party to, this type of lust triangle. If you notice I used the word LUST so in case you've never done a true comparison of Love versus Lust let's review.
LUST (noun): An overwhelming desire or craving. Intense eagerness or enthusiasm.
Scarlet's Sidebar: The feeling of dependency that occurs while anticipating the intermittent intense sexual experiences a.k.a. the time he's making her happy and your ass waits for him.
LOVE (noun): A strong feeling of affection and concern for another person. Devotion or adoration.
Scarlet's Sidebar: A feeling of void when apart from someone significant in regions of your body other than your groin. Also, what he has for her that keeps him there, hence DEVOTION!
I don't think I have to go any further into the obvious differences between the feelings of lust and love. If you're still stuck on that and aren't sure send me an e-mail and I'll help you out further. So! The obvious question would seem to be why do women continue relationships with married men right? Well I'm not going to address that today. Today we will give Mr. Incredible all the credit and shine light on his strategy of keeping a woman of free will caught up in his shitty triangle. Let's give him credit for his most common attributes, see below:
CHARISMATIC: Oh yesss he's well spoken and can charm you to your knees, literally.
This is where the cunningness gets disguised into him being mysterious, which you find sooo attractive until later.
GENEROUS: He's kind and quick to offer his assistance in your time of need.
There's something to the old adage "pay to play". Besides you need something to hold onto between visits.
FAMILY ORIENTED: He's big on his family and this is admirable.
And don't you ever think you will cause any drama to his household. You may learn this physically the hard way should you step outside your box.
PASSIONATE: He loves your body and makes you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
He needs to give you great unmatched sexual experiences so that when you ask for more of him you're hesitant to see others for fear another cannot recreate those sensations.
Mr. Incredible offers a woman a relationship where she is in constant anticipation of his presence. As a result she becomes addicted to that sensation of her longing being met by guaranteed satisfaction. Over time she would rather wait for his guaranteed performance than the unknown exchange with a single man. Mr. Incredible is able to maintain these types of relationships with us because while he gives women the attention we seek, he also uses us to play out his fantasy on some level. You are merely a player in his fantasy and most likely remind him of a love once lost or some symbol of freedom that will never be found. As long as you keep the fantasy running he'll keep you around.
The need for a woman to feel desirable and content is matched through his need for loyalty and ability to provide attention and romance. This blend of human cravings create a funky environment for the full blown affair to blossom. Sounds crazy to the single guys right now but here's my explanation. I have found men to have more insecurities than women. However, a married man is no longer concerned about a single woman judging him for these flaws because that's his wife's job! I know its not fair but unlike most single men he approaches women with a certain air about him that exudes authority. It's not because he's overly confident or is really into you, it's because he doesn't care if you reject him because there are many other women who will buy into his bullshit. The single man is going to approach with caution and courtesy and there are some women who really can't recognize a good man's genuineness and shame on them!
In my opinion, an attached man is comfortable when a new woman is unaware of their shortcomings. Remember he is where he is as a result of another woman's support and longsuffering thus far so don't kid yourself. You are a breath of fresh air to him because you don't require a lot and are always happy to see him. He has no shared responsibilities with you and this makes you an accent to his relationship. Actually your presence makes his marriage more tolerable for him, but sadly some women don't understand that and still wonder why men stay with their wives though they're so great and give them everything they require to be happy. I could run down a list of why he should leave for all those long-term psychologically damaging reasons, but I think its more fun to hear some reasons men give explaining why they can't leave their fantastic Significants.
WHY DOESN'T HE LEAVE HER? (Count how many you've heard):
Physically she can not have sex. She doesn't have sex with me in fear of pregnancy.
She thinks I'm cheating so she withholds sex. I'm not happy but it's my fault she's a bitch.
We're just roommates. She has no one else.
We don't sleep in the same bed. I live in the basement.
I only stay so I don't disappoint my parents. I pay the mortgage so I'm not leaving.
I don't want to pay alimony. I'll lose half of my pension.
I don't want my kids to grow up without a father.
**Note: These are the dreams you are expected to buy into. The list goes on and on.**
No matter the explanation given everyone has their messed up reasoning for being involved in a triangle. Just do me a favor and own up to the role you play in the situation. Don't blame your spouse, kids, or family for your self made dramatization. Either walk around with shit on your shoe and keep telling yourself its just smashed banana, or throw those shoes in the damn dumpster. The room for blame is endless but regardless of where we decide to place the blame it doesn't make it better for any involved parties to accept and exist. Sooooo know your role! Who are you?
The Cheater: Why are you cheating? Take some time and self reflect. If you're unhappy only you know why so take steps to improve your situation. Most likely you feel some sense of unfulfilled goals but this doesn't give you a pass to make your partner suffer as a result of your mess. Get your life together.
The Cheatee: What is it about you that makes someone cheat on you? Are you excessively needy and bring a person to the brink of insanity where they need someone else to relieve them? Grow up already and improve yourself by either removing yourself from the situation or seek some damn help. Don't hate the player, hate the game!
The Relief: Why are you allowing yourself to be used as a relationship aide for grown people? Snap out of it already! Leave him and all his drama to her because ultimately she's the only one whose opinion matters in his head. You are worthy of your own healthy relationship.
The involved man who cheats on his woman has deep self issues that your vagina cannot fix. Don't take on his problems because his future and his well being do not concern you. NO THEY DO NOT! Someone else has that job and her position trumps anything you ever thought you could offer. Can you develop true emotions for this man though he belongs to someone else? Absolutely because the emotion is yours and he feeds into it making it actually surreal. He may even actually have some glimmer of love for you but it's only as good as your tolerance for his ego. Did you also know he was a magician and can make you feel bad for wanting the unnaturally natural relationship growth you deserve? And please don't get it twisted and fuck up the fantasy with talks of reality!
REALITY = Unexpected Pregnancy, Disease, Demands for more time, Requests for public appearances, Dates, Full time relationship, Money, Other men/women, etc...
A man who has the ability to brainwash you into accepting an alternate reality where his going home daily to another woman to share life, love, finances, time, and family is a normal functioning relationship is what makes him Mr. Incredible. Will Mr. Incredible ever leave his home to be with you? He prays everyday that you don't ask...trust me.
Thanks for reading....
Leela James featuring Raheem Devaughn, Mr Incredible/Ms Unforgettable:
youtube.com/watch?v=9zrASviP7rQ
Yes indeed ladies! You will never find another man who will listen to you, make love to you so intensely, and pay a few bills, yet be so cunningly hateful like her man. Hateful is a strong word, yes I'm aware, but what else best describes the man who can touch your soul and leave you empty at the same time? Let's take it further and ask will Mr. Incredible ever really leave his wife or girlfriend to be with you? I'm going to give you my take on why most men who are involved with another woman in a committed relationship are so eager to make you so happy as long as you buy into their dreams. A lot of people don't want to talk about infidelity or why the "side chick" remains in her place, but I think someone should take a stab at it who has multiple perspectives, and acquaintances who have dealt with, and continue to be party to, this type of lust triangle. If you notice I used the word LUST so in case you've never done a true comparison of Love versus Lust let's review.
LUST (noun): An overwhelming desire or craving. Intense eagerness or enthusiasm.
Scarlet's Sidebar: The feeling of dependency that occurs while anticipating the intermittent intense sexual experiences a.k.a. the time he's making her happy and your ass waits for him.
LOVE (noun): A strong feeling of affection and concern for another person. Devotion or adoration.
Scarlet's Sidebar: A feeling of void when apart from someone significant in regions of your body other than your groin. Also, what he has for her that keeps him there, hence DEVOTION!
I don't think I have to go any further into the obvious differences between the feelings of lust and love. If you're still stuck on that and aren't sure send me an e-mail and I'll help you out further. So! The obvious question would seem to be why do women continue relationships with married men right? Well I'm not going to address that today. Today we will give Mr. Incredible all the credit and shine light on his strategy of keeping a woman of free will caught up in his shitty triangle. Let's give him credit for his most common attributes, see below:
CHARISMATIC: Oh yesss he's well spoken and can charm you to your knees, literally.
This is where the cunningness gets disguised into him being mysterious, which you find sooo attractive until later.
GENEROUS: He's kind and quick to offer his assistance in your time of need.
There's something to the old adage "pay to play". Besides you need something to hold onto between visits.
FAMILY ORIENTED: He's big on his family and this is admirable.
And don't you ever think you will cause any drama to his household. You may learn this physically the hard way should you step outside your box.
PASSIONATE: He loves your body and makes you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
He needs to give you great unmatched sexual experiences so that when you ask for more of him you're hesitant to see others for fear another cannot recreate those sensations.
Mr. Incredible offers a woman a relationship where she is in constant anticipation of his presence. As a result she becomes addicted to that sensation of her longing being met by guaranteed satisfaction. Over time she would rather wait for his guaranteed performance than the unknown exchange with a single man. Mr. Incredible is able to maintain these types of relationships with us because while he gives women the attention we seek, he also uses us to play out his fantasy on some level. You are merely a player in his fantasy and most likely remind him of a love once lost or some symbol of freedom that will never be found. As long as you keep the fantasy running he'll keep you around.
The need for a woman to feel desirable and content is matched through his need for loyalty and ability to provide attention and romance. This blend of human cravings create a funky environment for the full blown affair to blossom. Sounds crazy to the single guys right now but here's my explanation. I have found men to have more insecurities than women. However, a married man is no longer concerned about a single woman judging him for these flaws because that's his wife's job! I know its not fair but unlike most single men he approaches women with a certain air about him that exudes authority. It's not because he's overly confident or is really into you, it's because he doesn't care if you reject him because there are many other women who will buy into his bullshit. The single man is going to approach with caution and courtesy and there are some women who really can't recognize a good man's genuineness and shame on them!
In my opinion, an attached man is comfortable when a new woman is unaware of their shortcomings. Remember he is where he is as a result of another woman's support and longsuffering thus far so don't kid yourself. You are a breath of fresh air to him because you don't require a lot and are always happy to see him. He has no shared responsibilities with you and this makes you an accent to his relationship. Actually your presence makes his marriage more tolerable for him, but sadly some women don't understand that and still wonder why men stay with their wives though they're so great and give them everything they require to be happy. I could run down a list of why he should leave for all those long-term psychologically damaging reasons, but I think its more fun to hear some reasons men give explaining why they can't leave their fantastic Significants.
WHY DOESN'T HE LEAVE HER? (Count how many you've heard):
Physically she can not have sex. She doesn't have sex with me in fear of pregnancy.
She thinks I'm cheating so she withholds sex. I'm not happy but it's my fault she's a bitch.
We're just roommates. She has no one else.
We don't sleep in the same bed. I live in the basement.
I only stay so I don't disappoint my parents. I pay the mortgage so I'm not leaving.
I don't want to pay alimony. I'll lose half of my pension.
I don't want my kids to grow up without a father.
**Note: These are the dreams you are expected to buy into. The list goes on and on.**
No matter the explanation given everyone has their messed up reasoning for being involved in a triangle. Just do me a favor and own up to the role you play in the situation. Don't blame your spouse, kids, or family for your self made dramatization. Either walk around with shit on your shoe and keep telling yourself its just smashed banana, or throw those shoes in the damn dumpster. The room for blame is endless but regardless of where we decide to place the blame it doesn't make it better for any involved parties to accept and exist. Sooooo know your role! Who are you?
The Cheater: Why are you cheating? Take some time and self reflect. If you're unhappy only you know why so take steps to improve your situation. Most likely you feel some sense of unfulfilled goals but this doesn't give you a pass to make your partner suffer as a result of your mess. Get your life together.
The Cheatee: What is it about you that makes someone cheat on you? Are you excessively needy and bring a person to the brink of insanity where they need someone else to relieve them? Grow up already and improve yourself by either removing yourself from the situation or seek some damn help. Don't hate the player, hate the game!
The Relief: Why are you allowing yourself to be used as a relationship aide for grown people? Snap out of it already! Leave him and all his drama to her because ultimately she's the only one whose opinion matters in his head. You are worthy of your own healthy relationship.
The involved man who cheats on his woman has deep self issues that your vagina cannot fix. Don't take on his problems because his future and his well being do not concern you. NO THEY DO NOT! Someone else has that job and her position trumps anything you ever thought you could offer. Can you develop true emotions for this man though he belongs to someone else? Absolutely because the emotion is yours and he feeds into it making it actually surreal. He may even actually have some glimmer of love for you but it's only as good as your tolerance for his ego. Did you also know he was a magician and can make you feel bad for wanting the unnaturally natural relationship growth you deserve? And please don't get it twisted and fuck up the fantasy with talks of reality!
REALITY = Unexpected Pregnancy, Disease, Demands for more time, Requests for public appearances, Dates, Full time relationship, Money, Other men/women, etc...
A man who has the ability to brainwash you into accepting an alternate reality where his going home daily to another woman to share life, love, finances, time, and family is a normal functioning relationship is what makes him Mr. Incredible. Will Mr. Incredible ever leave his home to be with you? He prays everyday that you don't ask...trust me.
Thanks for reading....
Leela James featuring Raheem Devaughn, Mr Incredible/Ms Unforgettable:
youtube.com/watch?v=9zrASviP7rQ
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