The Habitual Flirter

 

BEWARE OF THE HABITUAL FLIRTER

 

He's the guy who flirts with you or keeps asking for a date despite your lack of excitement when he calls you "pretty lady" "sexy gal" or "Umph Umph Umph".

 

You may encounter him on your daily trip to Dunkin Donuts or continually run into him at the gas station. If you're really lucky you probably work in the office with him and have little means of escape from his day to day quest to quench his thirst for your time.

 

I hate to tell you that unfortunately he will never stop!

 

All you can do is arm yourself with a few of the things listed below to keep him at an arm's length of distance away from you. I have done extensive research on these responses and for the most part they seem to work or at least keep me safe until the next bout of harassment.

 

LEVEL 1 RESPONSE: The polite "I'm seeing someone".

Forget this! It doesn't work. He will then turn around and offer to be your second or third string date. And believe me he's serious about this so don't even try to be nice and give him a glimmer of hope. Chop him down swift at the knees. Trust Me!

 

LEVEL 2 RESPONSE: Awkward Facial Expressions.

These are hit or miss depending upon the level of thirst your admirer holds. A) The squinty eye, allows you to appear as if you don't understand what he's talking about throw in a "whaaaaaat" and it might work; B) The tightly pursed lips, this look forces him to automatically take one step back; or try C) The flared nostrils, makes you look a little crazy. Your luck he'll just think you're sending him love signals. Remember he's not normal.

 

LEVEL 3 RESPONSE: The Quick Comeback.

Each time he says something repulsing be ready with a snappy reply to deflect his ignorance. Example he starts off with "I'm just sayin' baby girl can we...." Your reply: So how many women are you seeing now? You must go on a lot of dates! Can you really afford to date multiple women? and finally start every sentence with "Yeah the guy I'm seeing..." This level of response definitely shuts him down for a while and he'll need to take time to collect his thoughts. Hence, he walks away, which is your desired outcome.

 

LEVEL 4 RESPONSE: The Deep Sigh of Pity.

This is my favorite! No matter what he says and no matter how bad you want to curse him out just look at him with the most sorrowful face you can put together and sigh long and deep. This will undoubtedly make him say "Damnnnnnn did I do something?" Don't answer him! Just do it again. He will begin to feel slimy and may even apologize but don't really count on it. Just try to make him uncomfortable enough to leave you alone for the rest of the day.

 

Remember all these tactics are just buying you some time to slip away from the habitual flirter until the next time you see him. His mission is to seek you out and tell you things about yourself that you find neither flattering or complimentary. Just keep your head down until his stalker sense alert him that your presence is near.

 

Good luck and thanks for reading!