The Marriage Myth...Oh Jackie O!

 

 

JACKIE O’S MYTH: First time for love, Second time for money, Third time for companionship.

MISS SCARLET’S TRUTH: First time for infatuation & convenience, Second time for love & affection, Third time for money & companionship.

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching I figured I’d give you the Miss Scarlet take on those first, second, and third tries at marriage. I know lots of you are heading to Jared or Kay Jewelers, or whatever the trendy jewelry chain is that’s popping up on television, in the hopes of making that purchase to seal the deal on your love and I truly hope it works out for you. You could be a twenty-something that’s fallen head over heels in love, or a thirty-something that adopted celibacy while waiting for The One, or you could be like me forty, divorced with kids from the previous attempt trying to salvage your ideal that true love does exist. The latter is what brings about this Pre-Valentine Myth Buster.

DISCLAIMER: This is my blog so I can write what I wanna and if fabulous Jackie O can have an opinion I can too dammit. And hey if you’re still happily married to your high school sweetheart then please by all means share the secret with the rest of us but for now this is my shit!

First Marriage: It’s just my opinion that you probably entered into this for some measure of convenience or infatuation because you’re usually young and dumb and have been bamboozled by someone who wants something from you for the moment. Whether it’s to make your family happy or you’re smitten with sex it just went to crap! Most likely you got married before you even knew your own self and what you needed to compliment your personality and lifestyle goals. Suck it up because this isn’t the end of your life and you can still find happiness

Why did you do it…..INFATUATION & CONVENIENCE: Pregnancy. Fear of parents. For His/Her military benefits. Pure childish rebellion. (Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m saying.)

Second Marriage: This is the one you enter after you’ve discovered how crazy you are and have honed it in, but found someone who accepts you for the person you’ve grown into. This is also the person who will probably get the best from you because you refuse to either accept or give foolishness after dealing with your crazy ex-spouse. (Whew!) However, it too has the opportunity for failure because you probably put a bit too much expectation on your partner. Just remember you made a clear and conscious decision for this marriage so work toward the happily ever after.

Why did you do it….LOVE & AFFECTION: You grew tired of the empty dating scene. You finally regained trust in the opposite sex. You craved someone on the other side of the bed. (Be patient you’ll find him/her and get there sooner or later.)

Third Marriage: I think this is the one you enter into with the most apprehension because you truly believed that second one was going to be the one you died in partnership, but for some reason it shit the bed. So now here you are third time’s the charm and you vow to make it so because you just don’t want to be alone in the house. You also need someone to help you get out of the bathtub. I do think this set-up works for those who want it because it’s more of an arrangement to take care of each other and in my opinion there’s nothing wrong with this picture. Ideally both partners have their own bedrooms so you should get along pretty well. (Just make sure you get along well enough to truly care for one another.)

Why did you do it….MONEY & COMPANIONSHIP: You need medical benefits. You’re afraid of the noises the house makes. Shared living expenses work. (Yep! You’re in a situation but it can yield a very favorable outcome until one of you pushes up the daises.)

So, let’s wrap it up. My point is this, the first marriage your ring probably came from Zales (in a very rare occurrence it came from a family heirloom). Second marriage ring came from the diamond district where a stone was selected and a ring designed around it just for the bride. Third marriage rings were picked out by both partners and they probably split the cost.

It’s just about the mindset of folks who have tried, and maybe tried again to find their soul mate. Keep searching and if you can’t see the point here you’ve either never been married then divorced, or you’re still waiting for Prince/Princess Charming. I’m not going to kill your dream and tell you to stop waiting, but promise you’ll come back and read this when the hunt begins for your second spouse.

Smooches and thanks for reading!