TAME THAT THANG!

Tame That Thang!

DISCLAIMER: This information may or may not have been tested by anyone I know, myself personally or my peers, mentors, co-workers, or family members. It in no way reflects anything I’ve done, plan to do, haven’t done, or will admit to doing. It is raw and uncut. Read at your own risk!

How many shows can they air about women who don’t know who fathered their children? It is unbelievable that some of us can’t get the game right and fall into the category of “whore” for all the world to watch and mock. Look no further chicks! I’m gonna drop some knowledge on your coochies and show you a method for optimal sharing. After you read this you’ll have a few pointers on how to spread the joy of cooch all around your respective cities and towns in a safe methodical manner.

Here are some basic tips to keep your game tight, your face off the talk shows and your name out the streets.

Tip #1 Be smart and always have protected sex.

You should also always have our own supply of condoms. There is no shame in the B.Y.O.C. practice! If you have a steady flow of penis providers you can also invest in a box of your brand to leave on site.

Tip #2 (Everyone should always practice safe sex as indicated in Tip #1, especially when you have multiple partners, but Tip #2 is for those who keep it real with themselves.) Select no more than two penises that you intend to engage in unprotected sex.

Any penises in excess of three should absolutely be played with in a protective manner. This will lower the STD odds and also help you narrow down the pool of sperm donors should you become pregnant. Ladies, use the condoms!

Tip #3 Avoid multiple penises within the same geographic location.

If this is unavoidable you must disclose the presence of a “friend” in the area to one of them. I didn’t say give them all the information but you must cover yourself in case you’re spotted in the neighborhood on a regular basis. This could be bad and come back to bite you on the nipple. Ouch!

Tip #4 Stay Clean.

Maintain a “ho-on-the-go” bag. If you’re a readily available cooch-sharer you must keep your maintenance products handy and easily accessible. Bag should include key items like your favorite fragrance, wash cloth/wipes, toothbrush, condoms, lube, change of clothes etc.

Tip #5 Avoid friendly fiascos.

If you can help it, unless you’re the groupie type, don’t sleep with men who are friends or run in the same circles. While you are free with your sexuality you don’t want to be known as the neighborhood whore who slept with a few sets of cousins, or brothers, or father-son combos etc. You will never, ever live that down!

Tip #6 NO PAPARAZZI!!

Never ever agree to making sex videos or taking naked photos! Do your best to think down the line when the arrangement goes bad where those things will resurface. If you’re still dumb and/or in your 20's and this is not for your husband just say NO! Remember you can’t dispute a photograph that shows distinguishing marks on your body. When you do settle down you’ll have to disclose this information “just in case” that man, who still can’t get over what you did to him twenty years ago, decides to seek revenge.

Tip #7 Don’t confuse SEX for LOVE.

This is very important. Please note that just because men are sleeping with you, they don’t necessarily have or desire any type of emotional attachment to you. If you can’t handle the rotation get off the ride!

Heed my words!
I’m trying to shed some light on the fact that women have needs just like men. However, ladies we have to keep it real with ourselves and accept the fact that we are scrutinized to the fullest when it comes to sexual activity.

Undoubtedly, there is a stigma for women who are liberal lovers more so than men who engage in the exact same acts. We must always remember it’s not what we do; rather it’s how we do it. Please don’t expect to have a green light from society to fulfill all of your lustful urges with every Tom, Dick, and George who gets an erection. There are many rules to the game but these are just a few tips to keep you on the right track. I hope I've at least given you some precautions to consider adding into your personal routine.

At the end of the day stay a lady and don’t do anything you’re ashamed of that keeps you from looking at yourself in the mirror. Most importantly Be Safe!

Until next time….thanks for reading!