Wednesday, December 20, 2017
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
You Whoring Or Nah?
This blog was inspired by recent conversations with both self-proclaimed and societal standardized whores. I’m sorry I just couldn’t pass the opportunity to blog about it.
I’m not judging…just trying to help you out of the denial closet. SO! Here are eight clues you might be low level whoring.
1 You slept with more than five of your coworkers.
2 You slept with your boss for a raise in pay or some special days off.
3 You had three or more potential men tested for your child’s paternity.
4 You can’t go to the office holiday party because either the spouses are invited, or you're afraid of awkward encounters with all your special work friends.
5 You have multiple pics of private parts in your cell phone or pics of your own!
6 You have sets of bed sheets organized by your lovers names.
7 You have to cover your tattoos with Dermablend so people can’t compare your body parts during general conversation.
8 Your calendar looks like this:
Yes, I swear these have been topics that have crossed my path this week. No, I still don't judge. Matter of fact, here's what Dermablend looks like in case you're wondering (available at Macy's). Thanks for reading!!
7 You have to cover your tattoos with Dermablend so people can’t compare your body parts during general conversation.
8 Your calendar looks like this:
Yes, I swear these have been topics that have crossed my path this week. No, I still don't judge. Matter of fact, here's what Dermablend looks like in case you're wondering (available at Macy's). Thanks for reading!! 
AVAILABLE THIS FRIDAY MISS SCARLET'S CHRISTMAS CARD PACKS! SPREAD THE SPIRIT OF SCARLET THROUGHOUT YOUR FRIENDSHIPS.
Friday, September 1, 2017
Today's Thought - Congratulations!
I've recently learned of two marriage proposals and both ladies said "yes" to the men in their lives. My immediate feelings were happiness and pride. The thoughts that followed were the normal will I ever get married again, and it really made me stop and think about that possibility.
I have been divorced and dating for a little over five years now and I've become accustomed to a major lifestyle change. I like my space. I like being able to put my clothes away when I feel like it. I like my perfume bottles all over the dresser and not having to share closet space. I like MY portraits decorating my bedroom walls. I like having an option of whether to cook dinner or just eat ice cream. Single life is happy life and while I'm alone I am not lonely.
On the other hand I envy these women for finding something true. I shy away from saying they've found something "complete" because the presence of a man/woman in your life should not determine your self value. Finding a partner to match your life is a great thing however, and has the potential to bring you a heightened sense of happiness. We are human after all and crave companionship.
So back to me and the rest of us happily single chicks, will we ever get married? As for me, I do enjoy the partnership of marriage and the responsibility of elevating a good man. Making sure he is content and eager to work to provide for me. Guiding him in the right direction with love and support. Allowing him to lead me in the right direction toward our mutual goals. Will I ever get married again? I think the answer lies inside the unidentified man who knows when I need to hold his hand, when I need him to just listen, when I need him to kick in extra, when I need him to take charge! He's the man who will be able to handle my overt expression of emotion, understand my sense of humor, and read my face before I speak.
I guess my thought out loud today is congratulations to the engaged women! Know that it comes genuinely from us single ladies who still believe in love and marriage and know that we should hold out for the man who is worthy of our fabulosity, complimentary to our strengths, considerate of our weaknesses, and worth us giving up that shoe closet. Ladies the reality is we will be okay as long as we remember marriage is something we WANT but don't NEED for our success and happiness.
Thanks for reading!
Tuesday, August 29, 2017
Words of Wisdom - No Disclosure Please!
Ladies,
I feel compelled to give you this piece of knowledge. When you meet a new guy who you really like and you're getting to know each other and he tells you about his past relationships and you're all like "Awww he's opening up to me", please just stop and listen. DO NOT! I repeat DO NOT tell him shit about anything you've done with another man. I don't care if it was ten years ago! Men cannot handle hearing about your whorish past no matter how many chicks you know they've slept with over the years.
Sadly that double standard will always exist. Even in this new age of girl power and all that crap, don't be fooled! We are ladies and the men we want to keep around still think this way and need to feel as if they're traipsing on some type of uncharted territory when it comes to our vaginas.
This is not about deceit. This is about preservation of private information about your questionable behavior and simply maintaining your favorable reputation in his manly mind. In spite of the bullshit you've done with other men, your goal in a new relationship is to allow your current state of mind and actions dictate his perception of you as a woman.
It's my job to help you so here are ten examples of things you bet-not-tell particularly in the "getting to know you" phase, and at least until you've got him in some binding contract where he can't just run away....actually maybe take these to your grave.
1. That you dated a married man. I don't care if the man you dealt with got married after you were in too deep. Don't tell him!
2. That you had abortions. Yep I went there. So many men live in a house of glass its unbelievable.
3. That you slept with any of your guy friends who you still hang out with sometimes. OH NO BITCH! Most men don't believe in platonic male-female relationships because they have a female friend they want to screw.
4. That you ever questioned your children's fathers paternity. In spite of the number of men who have unprotected sex with women some how they are still shocked and in awe that these women can actually get pregnant!
5. That you ever had a threesome. I'm sorry but you can't talk about this at the onset of your relationship! It's either going to make him think you're a whore if you were with two guys, or think he can see other women and/or possibly introduce them into your bedroom if you were with a guy and a girl.
6. That you ever hacked an exes bank account. Nope don't tell it! He'll never trust you alone in his apartment.
7. That you ever dated/slept with a thirsty man out of convenience. We all know that sometimes there is a stale period in the life of a single woman. However, you don't need to share this with a good potential dude. This may put him in the mindset that you are just giving it up to anyone who asks. Believe me he will not understand your logic!
8. That you had a one night stand. Do I even need to explain this one? And don't even go there about you were out drinking and one thing led to another. BITCH! You'll never, ever be trusted to go to the bar.
9. That you kept a fallback man until you knew he was the one. Oh my gosh disclosing this information you want to not only lose him! You want to give him an excuse to see other bitches! Girl please, he cannot handle that even though he wasn't ready to make a commitment to you at that time. He can't handle hearing you even entertained another man. And no matter how emphatically he says he doesn't care....HE DOES!
10. Do NOT tell him his position on the rotation. No matter what! DO NOT freely tell him what it is he offers you in comparison to other men you are currently dating. It is not necessary and he really doesn't want to hear about it. In case you forgot the rules to the rotation I've posted it here so you can brush up (smdh).
http://charm4sure.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-rotation.html
Y'all better listen to what I'm saying here! Women are put together with more compassion and understanding than men, which is why we were made to play the role of mothers to children. Everyone has a past and unfortunately there are people who sit very high on the throne of judgment when it comes to our chastity and societal expectations. My point is this, not every man is clueless that women are people too, but every man desires a woman he can look upon as his queen. I'm just stating my opinion and the things I've listed above you may have experienced. They may have been steps you took to get you on the path you currently stand. Don't allow your life lessons to be construed as negative and dictate how you are treated by a potential mate. Moral to the story: Keep some shit to yourself.
Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, April 19, 2017
You might be in a real relationship if....
Sometimes you're just not sure what the heck your relationship status is so I'm here to help. You might wake up one day and be appalled that you find yourself in a real somewhat/maybe/sorta/kinda committed arrangement with another human being. It's happened to the best of us players but don't fret because maybe you're not!
Here's a little checklist to either set your mind at ease so you can keep playing in the streets, or maybe you'll realize you need to stop the bullshit and come to terms with your status.
If you answer "Yes" or "Sometimes" to any of these questions you're in a relationship (sorry).
When you get an invite to an event do you automatically put "2" on your RSVP?
If you're asked to bring them something to eat do you know what to order for them without asking?
Have you turned down sex from another human being that you know would result in fireworks because it just wouldn't be right?
Do you make up excuses not to go on dates but don't say it's because you're in a relationship? (yep that counts cuz you're in denial)
Do you stop flirting with people when it gets to the point of them asking you seriously out on a date?
Are you privy to any of their personal account information or passwords? (Woah! You're in DEEP!)
Do you have a spare key to the house just in case they get locked out? (Umm hmm that's your man)
Alright my booed up confused readers, now don't go getting antsy about needing a title to prove your place in someone's life. If your happy and you know it let it flow!
DISCLAIMER: If the other party involved in this "relationship" goes home at night to sleep in the bed with a third party you are in an In-Law situation. Meaning you either have a Husband-In-Law or a Wife-In-Law and are part of a love triangle. Good Luck!
Until Next Time....Thanks for reading!
Here's a little checklist to either set your mind at ease so you can keep playing in the streets, or maybe you'll realize you need to stop the bullshit and come to terms with your status.
If you answer "Yes" or "Sometimes" to any of these questions you're in a relationship (sorry).
When you get an invite to an event do you automatically put "2" on your RSVP?
If you're asked to bring them something to eat do you know what to order for them without asking?
Have you turned down sex from another human being that you know would result in fireworks because it just wouldn't be right?
Do you make up excuses not to go on dates but don't say it's because you're in a relationship? (yep that counts cuz you're in denial)
Do you stop flirting with people when it gets to the point of them asking you seriously out on a date?
Are you privy to any of their personal account information or passwords? (Woah! You're in DEEP!)
Do you have a spare key to the house just in case they get locked out? (Umm hmm that's your man)
Alright my booed up confused readers, now don't go getting antsy about needing a title to prove your place in someone's life. If your happy and you know it let it flow!
DISCLAIMER: If the other party involved in this "relationship" goes home at night to sleep in the bed with a third party you are in an In-Law situation. Meaning you either have a Husband-In-Law or a Wife-In-Law and are part of a love triangle. Good Luck!
Until Next Time....Thanks for reading!
Today's Thought: The oohs and the aahs
"GM beautiful" "I hope you had a great day baby" "You wearin sumthin sexy today" "I wanna see u" "I miss u"
As corny as these text messages read to you now, these are the most basic words and coming from the right man source will set your mood into the happy zone. My short thought today isn't really about the oohs and aahs we receive, but the reciprocal exchange of those very same oohs and ahhs.
If you have a piece of man who you find yourself always uplifting and sending positive words and happy thoughts about how you feel about him, but he NEVER, EVER sends you back any similar thoughts or compliments, it's time to reevaluate the level of energy you're spending on his ego boost. You are engaged in a one-sided love affair and/or supporting a healthy state of mind for someone who may just not really be that into you. Sadly, he may even be a man who doesn't know how to express himself but that's not your problem! I don't even care if the "Have a nice day" response comes from a man who doesn't have all his ducks in a row, it still makes you feel nice. At some point within the context of each intimate situation you will sit and think about its future outcome. Whether you will keep this person as a booty call or date buddy, or test their potential as a life partner, it WILL cross your mind. As you put your feelings out there make short work of the response you receive and if the admiration you feel isn't matched, or even somewhat acknowledged in this simplest exchange, come to terms, push on, and save it for the right one. Remove that rude booty call dude from your daily check-in list. He's not worthy of sentences full of niceties.
I guess my point is stop giving people extra attention that don't care too much about you. I'm not saying your guy friend doesn't like you, but he either has issues with communicating his feelings, or he just doesn't feel a strong emotional connection to you. You'll figure it out by the way the relationship grows or stagnates. Don't waste all that love and affection on someone who apparently doesn't need it from you. That shit is exhausting! Look for someone who thinks the most of you and values your input. And I'm not talking about the guy who shoots you the "GM" and then you don't hear from him for days. I'm talking about the dude who isn't so arrogant that he runs after you when you give a little chase and makes you feel secure about your relationship when you have doubts. More than likely he really thinks about you and enjoys being around you. He's the one who initiates time spent with you, knows how to accept a compliment and is courteous enough to issue one back genuinely. Oooohh ahhhh he knows and values what you give to him so save the good stuff for him. Don't let a grown ass man fool you into thinking he doesn't know what you mean when you state how you feel about him. He's playing dumb so play him dumb.
Just today's thought. Thanks for reading.
As corny as these text messages read to you now, these are the most basic words and coming from the right man source will set your mood into the happy zone. My short thought today isn't really about the oohs and aahs we receive, but the reciprocal exchange of those very same oohs and ahhs.
If you have a piece of man who you find yourself always uplifting and sending positive words and happy thoughts about how you feel about him, but he NEVER, EVER sends you back any similar thoughts or compliments, it's time to reevaluate the level of energy you're spending on his ego boost. You are engaged in a one-sided love affair and/or supporting a healthy state of mind for someone who may just not really be that into you. Sadly, he may even be a man who doesn't know how to express himself but that's not your problem! I don't even care if the "Have a nice day" response comes from a man who doesn't have all his ducks in a row, it still makes you feel nice. At some point within the context of each intimate situation you will sit and think about its future outcome. Whether you will keep this person as a booty call or date buddy, or test their potential as a life partner, it WILL cross your mind. As you put your feelings out there make short work of the response you receive and if the admiration you feel isn't matched, or even somewhat acknowledged in this simplest exchange, come to terms, push on, and save it for the right one. Remove that rude booty call dude from your daily check-in list. He's not worthy of sentences full of niceties.
I guess my point is stop giving people extra attention that don't care too much about you. I'm not saying your guy friend doesn't like you, but he either has issues with communicating his feelings, or he just doesn't feel a strong emotional connection to you. You'll figure it out by the way the relationship grows or stagnates. Don't waste all that love and affection on someone who apparently doesn't need it from you. That shit is exhausting! Look for someone who thinks the most of you and values your input. And I'm not talking about the guy who shoots you the "GM" and then you don't hear from him for days. I'm talking about the dude who isn't so arrogant that he runs after you when you give a little chase and makes you feel secure about your relationship when you have doubts. More than likely he really thinks about you and enjoys being around you. He's the one who initiates time spent with you, knows how to accept a compliment and is courteous enough to issue one back genuinely. Oooohh ahhhh he knows and values what you give to him so save the good stuff for him. Don't let a grown ass man fool you into thinking he doesn't know what you mean when you state how you feel about him. He's playing dumb so play him dumb.
Just today's thought. Thanks for reading.
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