The Rotation

                                                                        "The Rotation"

 

Definition (verb): The practice of utilizing the individual assets (not weaknesses) of multiple men simultaneously to fulfill your pending need, with minimal interaction of all involved parties. Not at all to be confused with playing a man through disrespectful actions. Somewhat similar to what men have been doing for centuries but without deceit. Recommended for single women but also available in a specific module for married women (e-mail me directly for that curriculum).

Now I’ll be honest, every woman is not capable of the rotation. Before you continue reading and get caught up in this program ask yourself these few key questions.

      Do I mix up names in my head? Correct Answer: NO(if you said yes this is not good because no one-especially a man-wants to be called by the wrong name)

      Can I balance my schedule effectively? Correct Answer: YES (there may be times when you have multiple offers from your men and you must prioritize and keep them from overlapping)

      Are you looking for love right now? Correct Answer: NO (if you answered yes shut this down…the rotation is not designed to seek out your soul mate..it’s about having fun..we’ll go over that soul mate crap later)

      Are you capable of understanding the difference between love and lust? Correct Answer: YES (while you may not sleep with every member of your rotation…you actually might! You have to know that good sex does not equate love)    

Okay so now that you know you’re capable of the rotation let’s get into it! A good rotation has members that meet specific needs and you must first define your multiple needs. Some of us want great sex, some want to go out often, some own property and need a handy man, some want to be wined & dined, while others want a cuddle buddy. The point of the rotation is to be in touch with the reality that not all these things will be found within one man but we can get the best from each man. Make sense?

The great thing is that men come in all sorts of nice packages. I recommend when you’re holding interviews for members of your rotation you maintain a level of honesty. Now I’m not saying put all your cards on the table and tell him how many other men you’re seeing but do tell him you see other people. As women we have this crazy thing inside that wants love and all that but for you to be strong in your rotation ability you have to suppress that for the time being. Keep your emotions in check! Ladies…please don’t get it twisted…I’m sure he’s already seeing at least two other women and the terms of the rotation keep your mind right while he’s doing that. See that’s the beauty of it! The rotation affords you the opportunity of not focusing on who he’s seeing because by the time you start thinking about it his turn is up and you’re on to the next member. I know it sounds harsh but this is not about finding a man to keep. This is about identifying the optimal function of the male species and making it work in your world. Let’s discuss some of those functions.

The Man on Your Arm: This is the man who is so fine that every time you’re with him bitches just salivate. You have to be a confident woman to roll with this type of man and know how to smile and pat him on the ass when you get those looks from the haters. Usually he is great for public appearances and if he actually has a brain he may be able to hold small conversations at your office party. But don’t let him stray too far away from you! Some vulture may be lurking and take your spot on his rotation.

Mr Fix It: This man is great with everything from electronics to clogged toilets to changing the oil in your car. The problem is he’s probably not that attractive or either overweight but he’s sort of fun to be around. You invite him over to the house to work on things and then you either have mercy sex with him because you’re just feeling nasty, or you may be able to get away with fixing him a sandwich. Either way it’s all good because the benefit outweighs the task.

The Gift Giver: Awww this is the guy who is so freakin’ sweet! He always remembers your birthday, takes you to exclusive restaurants and events, tells you how beautiful you are, and even throws in a pair of Jimmy Choo’s or Prada’s every now and then because he has the black AMEX card. He’s just too good to be true…because he is and can only be tolerated in small doses and most of the time he is challenged in the penis profile. But you suck it up….literally!!

Mr Fun Fun Fun: He’s the guy you can call anytime to roll anywhere with you and you’re guaranteed to have a great time. You can actually have decent sporadic sex with him too! He can be around your friends and jump into any conversation. He may even actually ask you for permission to date one of them. Most of the time you have to pay for his drinks and his meal but it works when you’re bored and just wanna go hang out with a man.

Homebody Guy: This is the guy who makes you laugh and you can actually have decent sex. His home is immaculate and meticulously coordinated for a man. He’s usually very attractive and sweet. He’ll cook for you, run you a bubble bath, and give a great massage. He’s good for when you just wanna snuggle on the couch and chill. Aaaaaahh! But don’t dare think you’re going to spend a night out on the town with him. He’s happy in the realm he’s created within the four walls of his house so you better get your slippers ready.

Mr Get Right: WOO! What can I say? This is the man whose calendar you try to stay on because he is so very talented in the bedroom. You clear your entire schedule when he calls and you don’t even look at your cell phone when you’re with him. He has the power to control all your bodily functions with a hand gesture. Yes ladies like Big Foot and the Loch Ness Monster he does exist! Of course he’s probably married to a bitch who has no idea what she has at her disposal, or he’s such a whore you have to park your car in his garage so the next bitch won’t key it while you’re at his house. But that’s why there’s a MAACO, personal property damage riders on your insurance, and now cell phone companies allow us to download apps to block crazy bitches.

 
   In case you’re not fully understanding the benefits that a rotation can bring you here is a sample.

Rotation Sample Week – Monday through Sunday:  (The sex outlined in the sample below no way reflects any willing or unwilling activities I have been a party to. I am in no way admitting any acts, plans, or intentions stated herein. No penises were damaged in this rotation sample)

Monday: Tired from the weekend see Homebody Guy for quiet in-house dinner, movie, and a massage - relaxation sex.

Tuesday: Day Off the Rotation. Connect via phone to Man on the Arm to secure your Thursday night escort. You text Mr. Get Right but get no reply - damn him and his pleasure bringer!

Wednesday: AM wake some bullshit text reply from Mr. Get Right but you just reply 'K'. Mr. Fun Fun Fun calls you before you get off work and wants you to come to happy hour so you go hang for a while. You end up paying for the drinks and curse him out - no sex (but he offered some alternative service buy you're pissed so you decline)

Thursday: AM wake to apology text from Mr. Fun Fun Fun - you accept it because he did pay for the Happy Hour two weeks ago. He wants to see you Sunday, you reply 'maybe'. Tonight's the Holiday party at work: The Man on the Arm picks you up and provides escort. He holds you so nicely on the dance floor and he’s such a pleasure to look upon. Apple Martinis – definitely sex.

Friday: Having Girls Nite In at your place tonight for pre-holiday drinks and the garbage disposal is broken. Call Mr Fix It – make him a sandwich in lieu of sex.

Saturday: Mr. Get Right calls at 2am when he gets home from the club. You jump in your car - absolutely sex! Saturday evening you hang out with your friends and tell them about the great hours of sex you had with Mr. Get Right.

Sunday: Mr. Fun Fun Fun calls but you don't answer because The Gift Giver just called inviting you to brunch at the restaurant overlooking the park. You eat and take a stroll. He kisses you and you cringe as he attempts to suck your lungs up through your throat - no sex with a good excuse...cramps. Get to bed early. 

As I stated the rotation is not for everyone, especially those of you truly seeking a committed relationship right now. The rotation is good for ladies who are newly broken up from a thing and who don’t necessarily want or need to rush into something so serious just yet. It’s also good if your personality doesn’t allow you to be tied down to one man for very long. You may be a person who would benefit from their own customized rotation.

The only thing that will throw off your rotation is that you have the wrong people in it! As women we are sometimes afraid to let a man go for fear he won’t return or we’re gonna miss his ship when it finally sails in. Guess what? His ship probably wrecked a long time ago and if he’s really for you and into you he’ll be back. Otherwise chock it up as a chapter and be thankful you were spared from future drama. Also, keep out the crazies! If it looks wrong, feels wrongs, and people tell you its wrong…9 times out of 10 it’s wrong! Make no mistake ladies, every encounter is about a give and a take. What are you giving to it and what are you taking away from it? Let’s be clear, no man is going to ride with you if you don’t make him feel like the man. Especially when he is somewhat aware that he’s not the only man with whom you spend time. The key is to play up whatever it is you have to offer and make it most appealing to him and his personality so he’ll want to stay in your rotation. You must make sure that everyone on your rotation has a purpose or what’s the use? There will be a trial and error process but once you get the players perfectly aligned there’s no stopping you!

Note: If you intend to continue reading my blog you must be mindful that ‘The Rotation’ is absolutely not ‘The Flip’. That forthcoming topic is a bit more shall we say……raw.

                                                                      Thanks for reading!