The X Chronicles - DAY 2

   
 CHRONICLES

X CHRONICLES...DAY 2 “Absence makes the single heart grow stronger”

Remember that an ex is an ex for one reason or another. Whether you both mutually agreed to split, something tangibly wrong occurred, or they abruptly up and left you by yourself you are now excluded from their life. Sometimes you get dumped and you weren’t ready for it and now find yourself with the big “S” on your forehead. Well this week we’re not talking about your failure to retain that ex, we’re focusing on the failure of that fucker to keep their commitment.

Let’s discuss your ex and find out if you really should be feeling so lonely instead of liberated from this relationship. Shall we reflect?

REFLECTION #1 - IDENTIFY THAT EX Sometimes it really IS them and NOT you! You need to identify their defect and regain your self-esteem. One of these defects may have possibly existed within them but you were too smitten with lust to sense the danger. Let’s review here.

Control Freak Maybe? They made all the decisions without your input and you twisted it to perceive it as strong leadership. Uh uh, you were wrong. How can you be happy in an environment where you have no say so on the flow of the relationship?

Abuser Hmmm? You were always feeling emotionally drained or physically overwhelmed and you couldn’t figure it out. Or they were overly critical of everything you did and you never quite did things correctly in their eyes. Yep that’s abusive behavior!

Jealous & Sneaky? You thought being in the house all day everyday was romantic and you couldn’t go to the store without him. Aww you thought it was cute he wanted to drive you everywhere and was being helpful. Now do you see that was a trick to keep you dependent on them? That was not normal, sorry.

Serial Cheater? Hmmm those paychecks never quite matched the hours of “overtime” they claimed to work. And all those gifts that would pop up out the blue right on time when you felt that tingling in the pit of your stomach. Yeah that’s what guilt will get you sometimes, a closet full of bags you don’t need.

Too Good To Be True? Always so sweet and agreeable and nothing was ever wrong…until she suddenly left you! Check for signs of Drug Abuse, Secret Lifestyle, or a Hidden Family. Most importantly CHECK YOUR CREDIT! Sounds fishy to me.

REFLECTION #2 - COME TO TERMS Did you really think you’d be with them long term? If you think about it you probably knew that they’d be an ex. Here are a few questions you should ask yourself. If you answer yes to any of them you may have been holding on and waiting for them to end it anyway just so you wouldn’t have to do it yourself.

Did I take care of everything necessary for my wellbeing all by myself anyway?

Was I the one always left to figure out a resolution to our problems?

Did they sit back and let me do everything while I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off?

Did their financial contributions to the household and entertainment dwindle consistently?

Did I spend more time focusing on them than they did on me? 

REFLECTION #3 – FREE YOURSELF Now that you’ve thought deeper than just “Woe is me I’m all alone” don’t you see a little more clearly that this relationship you lived and breathed for actually only allowed you to do so in shallow breaths? You were the PRIZE in this thing and it’s time to recognize your worth and set your heart, mind, and conscious free. You cannot go on holding on to someone who clearly didn’t appreciate you.

Just remember, the ex who up and walked out on you will invariably return hoping to find you in a state of disarray and dysfunction. Is this really how you want to be perceived? Sometimes it's all about the power you have given them and their total awareness of that fact. Let no one hold such power over your existence. Besides, think of all the time, money, and energy you can now put into upgrading your solo existence.

AN EX IS AN EX IS AN EX!

Stay tuned for DAY 3 OF THE X CHRONICLES