The X Chronicles - Day 4

 

 

        CHRONICLES

 

X CHRONICLES…DAY 4 “An Ex For All Seasons”

So its day four and I felt I can now get a little personal and discuss an issue that I have with exes in hopes that maybe one of my readers can tell me I’m not the only one who has these experiences. Is it just me or do you either create ugly monsters or insane stalkers out of some of your exes? It seems they either want to do so much for you now you’re gone, or they act like they don’t even know you when they see you. What is this phenomenon?

I am continually faced with either the cold shoulder, the downward shifted eyes with a smile, or the cold stare of anger when I come into contact with most of these poor souls. Is it my fault they missed my bus when it drove through their neighborhood? Am I to blame for their late epiphany of the great enhancement they received in the presence of my love? Let’s see if we share any of these exes in common.

The Calculating Ex is the one who follows you through the grocery store but acts like they don’t see you in front of them. Peeking over at you from the next register as if they’re a damn secret agent.
Just wave and he’ll look away fast and storm off.

The Stalker Ex is the one who mails you greeting cards with notes referencing the fun times you shared but mysteriously never signs their name to them as if you don’t know who sent them.
I’m sorry there’s no cure for him until you have a new partner move in with you.

The Lustful Ex is the one you run into somewhere who either grabs your ass or gets all up in your ear explaining how he has now added gymnastics to his bag of sexual tricks. Taunting you on how you're missing out if you don’t give him one last try to please you.
Yuck! Tell him your back hurts and start limping and let a little drool pool in the corner of your mouth. Be careful though, he might try to lick it.

The Close To You Ex is the one who purposely buys property in the vicinity of your home so you have to either drive by their house or randomly "bump into them" on a regular basis. Don't worry if this doesn't work they’ll just put your street on their jogging route.
Sorry the sidewalks are public and the police won’t help you.

The Loving Ex is the one who tells their new boo all about you so when you meet casually somewhere they act like you’re best friends and give you a hug! 
When the new flame turns their back this ex will try to kiss you.

The Hateful Ex is the one who tells their new boo that you still want them and makes up an alternate reality about your current non-existent relationship.
All you can do is change your number and stay away from them. And it can’t hurt to keep some pepper spray in your bag….just in case.

The Helpful Ex is the one who wants to help you fix stuff in your house, mow your grass, loan you money, cook for you, watch your kids and a bunch of other things you know better than to allow.
Open the door for this ex and they’ll never go away! They'll even make friends with your new boo (damn shame).
 

For quite some time I racked my brain thinking what I could have possibly done to deserve such ill treatment from men who I cared for, or what in the heck sparked such renewed interest from those who had no initiative until we separated? I’ve learned that I can’t fix them, help them, and no longer want to continue to give them my effort. I hope you're feeling the same way!

'DEM EXES THOUGH

STAY TUNED FOR THE EARLY POST OF THE FINALE - DAY 5 OF THE X CHRONICLES.....