The Simple Man

I wish I had a dollar for each time I spoke to a man seeking advice on women and he says "I'm simple". Ladies, believe it or not most men just want some basics from us and they'll be more than satisfied to keep all the money and penis action inside the sanctity of the home. 

Here's what men who openly engage me in this conversation topic desire for themselves.

#1 FOOD: Yes you have to feed him. A man loves a piece of meat. Whether it's on bread, baked in the oven, or the burnt part is smothered in gravy. He will appreciate the mere fact that you worked all day and still thought of his need to have nourishment.

#2 A Clean House: A hard working man does not want to come home and step over your shoes, bra, and paperwork as soon as he hits the door. Take time to tidy up the place and if your time is short at least do the dishes and make the bed! Clean dishes don't stink and a made bed makes the messiest room look like it's still put together well. I hate to tell you this is more important than sex. A man will go to an untidy woman's house for sex but he won't stay there!

#3 Acknowledgement of Manhood: Every man wants to know he runs the house...even if he really doesn't! You don't have to tell him he don't do this and he don't do that. Fact is he knows where he falls short and it bothers him. It's hard sometimes, but try to find the good in everything he messes up and tell him you still love him for his manly way of handling the situation.

#4 Appreciation Fellatio: ILL you don't do that! Well guess what? Someone will! Simply stated "Handle Your Business." If your man ever says to you "That's Okay" while you're in the middle of pleasuring him you done gone wrong gurl! You need to go back to basics and seek some help. Shoot me an e-mail or something! Secret: The more you enjoy it he will enjoy it, but if you don't enjoy it he won't enjoy it either!

#5 An Occasional Stranger: This is not what it sounds like. While I've never spoke to any man of any race, ethnicity, or religion who denied the fantasy of having a threesome, this is not what I mean! I mean go in the closet and pull out a wig and turn on your alter ego. Men love variety, which is why a lot of them cheat....according to them. You can be that variety all wrapped into one woman. Take time to do your face and turn on an accent, put those heels on, and put the kids to bed. He won't know what hit him! Don't worry about your imperfections. Men love women and most really don't care about what we think we have that looks wrong.

#6 Listen to Him: I don't care what he's talking about but just listen. He doesn't want any answers he just wants to be heard. Every male statement does not need your womanly intuitive response. Remember he is the head of household so make him want to continue to play that role. Be thankful he's not shutting down because that might mean he has someone else to talk to and has already done so before he came home to you.  

#7 Stay Overall Beautiful: Lots of married men say to me their wife just doesn't care about herself anymore. Ladies, don't be this woman! Yes we get older and go through hormonal changes etc... However, we must get medical help for these issues. Rule Number One is to keep yourself in a shape you like and he'll like it too. So what you're a stay at home wife! Still do your hair and wash your face. He encounters attractiveness all day, but if you keep your game tight he will be in a mindset where he still thinks you're the most beautiful woman in the world.

All I'm saying is when women get lax men get slack. Then when the man looks to trade you in for a newer model you act like you don't know why. NEVER GET COMFORTABLE!! There's always some heffer looking to take your good man away from you, and if you don't stay in his head the right way she may slither her way into your life.

In a man's head there's nothing more attractive than a beautiful woman who can cook, keeps her house moderately tidy, makes him feel good, is not a sex grudge holder, and can hold a conversation. HELLO! If you suspect your man of still creeping with his ex I guarantee it's because she fulfills at least 3 of the points listed above. Men are truly simple but not always balanced. That's okay because that's why women  were created. If you have a good man balance him.

Until next time thanks for reading!