Did that someone special you're dating just tell you they love you and you experienced temporary paralysis? Your mind is racing, your hands are clammy and you're at a loss of words. Don't be afraid to reciprocate the love. Yes I said it! Give the love back to that person and then hit them with the following. "Love is a wonderful thing that we all want to experience and it has so many levels that we can possibly reach together. I want to make sure we're on the same level." Good stuff right?!
I read something a few years ago and I still refer to it to keep my own emotions regulated. Neil Sperling authored a blog titled "The Four Levels of Love"
http://neilsperling.hubpages.com/hub/Four-Levels-of-Love. Neil touches on some very key points where he breaks love down as different experiences at various levels. Here's the jest of what he says with the Miss Scarlet twist starting with the lower level working toward the top.
Level IX: Physical Love - a.k.a. Getting Turnt Out Love. It's that feeling after great sex when you can't remember your name. You're experiencing something incredible and you're not too sure what it is so you think its love. If it doesn't accompany anything more than just sex to back up your feelings then in my opinion I think its LUST! You may want to deter from expressing "love" to this person. This can lead to a very disappointing and awkward encounter when the tingly feeling in your groin is not met with mutual expression.
Level III: Mental Love - I call this one Psychological Satisfaction. Basically this is love you feel from being satisfied and content with a persons actions meeting your needs. This love is real but I worry that it may only be good through the season of the arrangement. My best example is a marriage built on convenience or entered into for the sake of children, money, or social pressure. It can be fulfilling and remain in tact if you're careful and stay attentive.
Level II: Emotional Love - This is the With All Your Heart love because it makes you feel good on the inside and it shines through to your exterior. This is that love where you develop a physical need for the presence of your partner. The true meaning of intimacy is present on this level and the physical love just manifests in a major way here. Just be careful that you're sharing this love with someone who has their emotions in tact so you don't create a harmful dependency.
Level I: Spiritual Love - I interpret this level as finding the Love of Your Life and reaching ultimate satisfaction with another human being. This is the finish each others sentences type of deal. This is the love that lasts a lifetime because it's a great balance of give and take. It is also unselfish and free from competition. Make no mistake it takes time to build to this level of love. For all you true romantics out there I hope it's truly possible to achieve.
I guess my point today is that we are all entitled to love who we want for whatever reason we wish. I think every relationship is capable of moving from one level to the next. Let's just be sure we're loving or being loved appropriately. There's nothing worse than waking up one day realizing the person you're partnered with is no longer or was never truly on your level. We'll talk again soon!
